Weekly Messages

As a kid, I grew up loving wrestling. My brothers and I would watch it religiously every Saturday night. We hero-worshipped names like Dusty Rhodes, Ted DeBiase, Ric Flair, Andre the Giant, and Hulk Hogan. For my childhood, I was sure that wrestling was watching the actors (though I did not know it was acting) on television or how my brothers and I tussled with each other on my parents’ bed.

As an adult, I find myself wrestling more than ever, but with myself and God. Lately, I have been battling thoughts in my mind that have been very challenging to reconcile. For example:
What do I do when I firmly believe that Black Lives Matter and I am also firmly disgusted that BLM charter calls out Israel unfairly in acts of anti-Zionism and anti-Semitism?
How do I approach the member of our shul who is up at night over Iran gaining nuclear capabilities who sits next to the other member of our congregation who is positive that Israel is about to figure out the gene that causes cancer and be at the forefront of eradicating it? Which one is correct? Or which one is more correct? Who deserves more attention, time, and concern?

I am wrestling with the truth that anti-Semitism in America is on the rise while at the same time, the Jews are enjoying a time of arrival and enlightenment that our ancestors could never have dreamed of. Is it the worst of times or the best of times? Should our kids be worried or rejoicing?

In this week’s Torah portion of Vayetzei, Jacob is confused and on the run. He falls asleep and, in his dream, he wrestles with God. In fact, his name is changed to Yisrael – which means one who grappled with God – when he awakes.

Often, when in the middle of a struggle and confused, I seek guidance. A sagacious and seasoned friend shared two pieces of advice that have helped me catch my breath in this struggle.

• 1. Yes is the answer to the questions above. We are facing the greatest times in Jewish history in America AND a rapid increase in anti-Semitism. Black Lives DO Matter and we, as Jews and citizens concerned about social justice, should stand shoulder to shoulder with them. And after our march, we ascend our soapbox and call BLM out for their discriminatory stance against Israel, written in their charter.
• 2. The struggle is what makes us grow. It does not define us, hurt us, or slow us down. It sharpens our minds, deepens our resolve, and provides angles that might have been closed off before.

Jacob wrestles and betters himself from it. All of us have some wrestling over meaty topics in our minds to struggle with. Keep up that good fight and keep wrestling with the issues that matter. Unlike the WWF, we do not always have to have one victor when the bell rings. The match is where the accomplishment and progress is made.

Rabbi David-Seth Kirshner

One of the most potent laws in the entire Bible is the prohibition of cursing the deaf or putting a stumbling block before the blind. It speaks to the moral standards the Torah seeks from our daily behavior and it can be expounded upon to imply that we should not tempt people with areas where they will be destined to slip up or fall.

While this law occurs in a different book of the Torah (Leviticus 19:14) in Toldot which we read this week, Rebecca takes advantage of her husband Isaac’s poor eyesight. She tricks him into offering the birthright to Jacob when it rightfully belongs to Esau. She colludes to make Isaac full of the features that Esau displays and is complicit in this deceitful act.

To quote David Zucker, Jacob, according to the text, is at least 40. Isaac is about 100 years old. Isaac is limited in sight. Jacob seeks to place a stumbling block before the blind (Lev. 19:14). Jacob is dis-loyal. He knowingly violates his obligations to protect his father. He betrays him. He takes advantage of his position of power as a young and healthy man, to hoodwink someone aged and infirm. Were this set in a modern context, we would label this “elder abuse” or familial betrayal.

So why do we tolerate this behavior and even venerate Jacob as the heir to the patriarchy of Judaism?

In my understanding, Jacob models for us what NOT to do more than how we should behave. Perhaps that is one of the most solid lessons of the power of our Torah. It is a real and imperfect example of the brilliance and warts of our ancestors and even how the leadership amongst us have had checkered pasts with less than stellar histories but, are still worthy of leadership and being given another opportunity.

Rabbi David-Seth Kirshner

As a rabbi, I am asked more questions about death and burial than any other Jewish topic. People who are not serious Temple-goers and quite relaxed in their observance of Jewish laws are fiercely traditional when it comes to death and dying. Why is that? Is it superstition and worry about retribution from the Angels above? Is it that death worries us more? Is it that the laws surrounding death are easier to keep?

Still, some do stray from Jewish standards and norms in death and burial. I cannot keep track of how many people have told me “Rabbi, Judaism prohibits cremation or embalming, yet this person chose to do it. Why? What do we do about that?”

I always reply with some snarky answer about how Judaism tells us to keep kosher and to follow the laws of Shabbat yet some of the same people choose not to keep those rules as strictly. Why does burial matter more?

Most of the laws of burial in Judaism stem from the book of Genesis, and in particular, this week’s Torah portion of Chayyei Sarah. Sarah, the first Jewish woman dies, and Abraham buries her. He later dies and is interred next to her in the Cave of Machpela, located in modern-day Hebron. His children come to bury Abraham upon his death and the importance of a burial spot and honoring the dead continue to arise throughout the first book of the Torah. Later in the book, when Joseph and Jacob die, they are entombed and brought on the Exodus from Egypt to be buried back in Canaan, the home of their brethren and burial place of their ancestors. This is a fantastic example of Moses and the Israelites honoring the wishes of the dead and caring for the deceased in a way the dead could not care for themselves.

I think death and burial are elevated in Jewish thought and practice because memory is core to our people. It is our collective sixth sense.  Jonathan Safran Foer even asks, as Jew, we always ask, how does it remember? The manner in which we show honor, express remorse and give love is through how we act towards the dead. Abraham does that this week in the portion with his beneficence and acts of selflessness. Though, my guess is he wishes he did those things more when Sarah was living. Don’t we all?!

Rabbi David-Seth Kirshner

Why did the taxi driver get fired? Passengers didn’t like it when he went the extra mile.
How do you look for Will Smith in the snow? Just follow the fresh prints.
Which rock group has four guys who can’t sing or play instruments? Mount Rushmore.
What time does a duck wake up? The quack of down.
Some people eat snails. They must not like fast food.

These jokes will not get me a spot-on Last Comic Standing and will inevitably cause my kids’ eyes to roll, but I hope even in the most gratuitous and compassionate form, they will cause to you at least smile, if not laugh out loud.

Laughing is a very important ingredient to our lives. Whether dealing with challenge, sorrow, or celebration the value of laughing helps us deal with the situation at hand and even contextualize the moment. Every good Bar Mitzvah speech, wedding address, or even eulogy has an appropriate place for laughter.

In Parshat Vayera, Sarah and Abraham both laugh when God tells them they will have a child. The laughter is so important to the moment of learning of conception, the parents choose to name their child Isaac (Yitzchak) which translates to laughter. The laughter mentioned in the portion is a loaded reaction that helps both Abraham and Sarah deal with the news and prepare themselves for the awesomeness of this miracle.

And God said to Abraham, “As for your wife Sarai, you shall not call her Sarai, but her name shall be Sarah. I will bless her; indeed, I will give you a son by her. I will bless her so that she shall give rise to nations; rulers of peoples shall issue from her.” Abraham threw himself on his face and laughed, as he said to himself, “Can a child be born to a man a hundred years old, or can Sarah bear a child at ninety?” Gen 17:15-17

Sarah said, “God has brought me laughter; everyone who hears will laugh with me.” Gen 21:6

To paraphrase Ferris Bueller, Life moves pretty fast and is pretty serious, at times. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while and enjoy a good laugh,  you could miss it and not appreciate it.”

Make time at your Shabbat tables and in the carpool line to make others laugh and to even laugh at yourself. We know laughter is healthy by decreasing stress hormones and releasing endorphins that benefit our bodies and our souls. We also know that laughter is contagious. At a time when we have learned how diseases and illness can spread let us spread laughter, joy, happiness, and miracles to our orbits and continue our traditions as Abraham and Sarah did in the time of the Bible.

Rabbi David-Seth Kirshner