Rabbi David-Seth Kirshner

During the course of the last year, and more intensely during the months of May and June, our congregation spent considerable time and made careful analysis of exploring ways to open doors in our Temple for the “other.” Substantive dialogue and respectful conversation was had by all who engaged, whether in the Executive meetings, Religious Practices Committees, special parlor meetings or with our Board of Directors and Trustees.

The “other” is a term used with respect and reverence for non-typical learners, same sex couples and families, non-Jewish partners along with family members and any person that might not fit into the traditional rubric of the Jewish community. The Torah and rabbinic law go to great lengths to remind us that all humans are created in God’s image. The same rabbinic teachings instruct us that portals must remain open for all who choose to align their destiny with the Jewish people through conversion. Equally, the Torah reminds us numerous times that we were the “other” in Egypt. Our lives today and throughout history were shaped by that single experience. As such, we are mandated to have a disposition of inclusion and welcoming.

In exploring this topic, we sought to find pathways to include more people in our community and address the realities of the composite of the greater Jewish world without compromising the integrity of our tradition or Jewish law.

Starting this New Year of 5776, the following changes will be inculcated into our weekly, Shabbat and Holiday services:

  • Non-Jewish members can open the ark during services.
  • Baby namings for children with one Jewish parent will be offered at our Temple.
  • Upcoming marriages between a Jewish and non-Jewish couple during services can be recognized publicly.
  • Additionally, same sex Jewish couples can be married at our Temple.
  • Children of Jewish and non-Jewish couples can continue to attend religious school at Temple Emanu-El.
  • Partnering with Matan, our Temple has created a program for all non-typical learners to be included in our school and B’nai Mitzvah programs. Thanks to generous funding, we will continue to move forward including all learners in our community.

The question of inclusivity does not rise to the surface from a place of weakness or as a gimmick to recruit members. Our synagogue is strong and trending towards continued growth. In the Conservative Movement, Temple Emanu-El is a flagship that other congregations seek to emulate. In Bergen County, we have been setting the bar for leadership and creativity. This decision comes from strength not desperation.

Some in our community will embrace and celebrate this change while others will express disappointment. Our community has always been made up of different opinions, backgrounds and traditions but common in our respect of one another. I know we will continue to explore, grow and learn from one another with kindness, patience and deference.

If you have questions, require points of clarification or just want to talk more about this, my door is always open.

Wishing you a Shanah Tovah and wishing our congregation health and strength to enter each new day and challenge with open hearts, listening ears and gratitude to God.

Rabbi David-Seth Kirshner